i blame not having seen the sun in over a week

I would venture to say this has been the worst week I have had in ages. Eons. Forever. Aside from the diagnosis that I'm most likely not suffering from a fatigue-like disease at all but rather depression, I am surrounded by people who are suffering as well. Family and friends alike. I feel helpless and weak and impotent. Today was the first day this week I awoke with a tad bit of hope that eventually the bell jar will lift.

I did not watch the State of the Union.
Nor did I hear first hand what was nominated for the Oscars.
And quite honestly, I do not care much about either right now.

I have been reading quite a bit. I continue to pick up the Prose and I've started reading poetry again with a vengeance. Plus I picked up Ted Kooser's The Poetry Home Repair Manual because nothing says "Hey, I'm depressed!" like a bunch of poorly written poetry. What a catch 22. Nothing says "Hey, I can write poetry!" like an onset of depression. Regardless, some of you will be pleased to know that I am indeed writing. It's really interesting and really hard and everything I've written this week needs to sit and marinate for about 3 or 4 weeks. The verdict on the validity of said writing will wait until then.

Operation Project Runway continues. It was temporarily derailed, but thanks to the best faculty advisor in the world, I'm back on track. I was reminded that I have a tendency to look at the big picture and want to fix it all at once when what I need to do is take it one step at a time and not forget to ask for help.

And that would be the exact same advice I just received from the best parents in the world in regards to My Life.

Tonight I'm taking a young man out to supper to thank him for holding my hand and reading my bad poetry and driving me to work and watching About Schmidt and getting excited about the delicious mess known as Harry Potter and going to a funeral with me and just being him.

Then we have to attend visiting hours.
Molly's Dad passed away Wednesday night.

Did I mention this was the worst week I've had in a very long time?

Tomorrow morning I'm at the shop at 9am until the funeral at 1pm. Depending upon how that all goes I'm either heading back to the shop or an afternoon of frivolity is in order. I'm thinking Pan's Labyrinth and maybe picking up tickets for the Reverend Horton Heat concert in early March. Sunday morning is looking like fitting time and then it's Monday again.

May this week prove to be better than the last.