it's just a cold

I'm off to the doctor's office this afternoon. I'm hoping for some sort of inhaler-type thing as the biggest problem is breathing in this heat and humidity. I'm only at work right now because of the air conditioning. Though I was on the futon last night, I still didn't sleep very well between the coughing and the sweating. Given that we're looking at the hottest days of the year I don't have much choice but to rely on the kindness of friends with air. I hate that. HATE IT. So, as of right now, my afternoon looks like this:

Drive home
Collect laundry
Drop laundry off at Saint-of-a-Woman
Head to grocery store in search of food that requires zero cooking but is still tasty to stop me from continuing the trend of going out in search of cooler temperatures.
Drop off groceries
Doctor's appointment
Please God let me be headed to Walgreens for a prescription
Back to the library to either pick up generous friend who is lending me her car or to sit in the library until 5pm when she is finished

Right now lunch is lacking.
As is a much needed nap.

I'm miserable all around. I spend alot of time trying not to panic about my shallow breathing which leads to me panicking about my shallow breathing which leads to me taking a cold shower and sobbing which usually does the trick long enough for me to calm down.

I can't even think about the middle east. Qana makes me physically ill. Seeing Condi Rice on tv makes me physically ill. Hearing that G.W.B. described the situation like this on his radio address Saturday:

"This moment of conflict in the Middle East is painful and tragic," Bush said in his radio address Saturday. "Yet it is also a moment of opportunity for broader change in the region. Transforming countries that have suffered decades of tyranny and violence is difficult, and it will take time to achieve. But the consequences will be profound for our country and the world." (my emphasis)

makes me physically ill.

And my body can't take it right now.
No news for 24 hours.

girlygirlygirlygirlygirlygirly

yeah.
I gots me a cold.

I knew this would happen with the dramatic temperature changes. Oh well. The worst thing is only wanting to drink tea and eat soup and curl up under mountains of blankets but having the temperature hovering around 90 degrees+. I am at work (as there is no greater sin than calling in on a Saturday) and am pleasantly easing into my morning with mug of tea #2. I wasn't able to fathom food this morning and my stomach is starting to think toast sounds good. Tonight I'm optimistic I'll be able to rally for supper with the parents at Pereddies. Gorgonzola and Pear Penne sounds delicious. Or good pizza.

I have reclaimed my girly ways! Yesterday I went shopping in G.R. and was reminded by someone that I used to be a slave to M.A.C. and adore heels. I'm not going to go overboard or anything, but I had a pretty good time yesterday purchasing exactly the right shade of lipstick. And agonizing over purchasing what I know to be my signature scent (it's base is patchouli, but significantly more grownup than the oil I wore many moons ago) and finding silver on sale for 60% off leaving me no choice but to buy 2 pairs of earrings and a new ring. I even went home and painted my nails!

Lunch with Gleis was wonderful, as usual. He's all geeked out about Library 2.0 as well, the difference being that he's actually in a position to do something about it. He convinced GRPL to start a blog and they are currently podcasting storytimes, lectures, and various events that are happening at the library. He's also working on creating wikis for various databases. It's really nice to see these things happening at a library of comparable size though the resistance here is so strong...I just don't know. Of course when I got to work today I immediately emailed Herr Director with a "I'm sure you know that this is happening, but isn't it cool that they've got a similar budget to us and are making this technology work?!?!" I also sit back in amazement at how he's running their programming committee with significantly less money than ourselves, but with significantly more success. He gets that marketing is key. Partnering with other nonprofits is the key. Sigh. Tim and Erin's library would kick some serious ass. He did smack me down hard for suggesting I would even entertain the idea of voting for anyone but Granholm and will hold me personally responsible if DeVoss wins.

I think Jennifer should take responsibility if she's incapable of beating that weasel-eyed snake. Get your act together. Start campaigning. Start telling me what you've been up to for the past 4 years. Start telling me what you're going to be doing if you get re-elected. It's her responsibility as the candidate to win my vote. If she can't do that--if she can't win the vote of a lifelong bleeding heart liberal--I don't want her in office.

3 games of Scrabble=3 more losses (I'm getting better...really...he got nervous)
We're also playing a new card game called idiot thanks to the neighbor. Yeesh. The strategies are still unfolding, but it's one addictive game. After every hand someone will say "Just one more?" It could seriously bring the world to a halt. You care about nothing but the prospect of getting lucky the next game around and winning.

And everyone knows how much I love to win.

at least i don't live in california...or lebanon

As I have no choice, I'm approaching the impending heat and humidity with a positive attitude.
I'm positive it's going to be wretched. I've also noticed that the extreme switch from heat to air conditioning really does do a number on me. I sit at my desk all day shivering in a skirt and sweater only to go home and sit wearing as little as possible in front of a fan sweating like crazy. Thankfully I have a few diversionary activities ahead.

1. Shopping in G.R. tomorrow with Molly and lunch with Gleis! The axis of evil comes together yet again for an afternoon of consuming good food.
2. Work on Saturday! Normally not something to be celebrated, but given the weather I'm happy to freeze to death--plus I have a partner in crime working with me that day making my typical Saturday crew 100% better.
3. Dinner with some parents I'm looking forward to spending time with as even though they live about 3 miles away I somehow only manage to see at big family gatherings!

There's also the possibility of a Saturday night trip to G.R. I'm certain there's some Scrabble in my future as I'm just starting to feel a little better about myself and no one wants Erin's ego to get out of check. Creative cooking and cold showers are inevitable.

And sugar free popsicles.

Lots of sugar-free popsicles.

i'm really not that bright

Last night I watched 2 hours of news (not good for my mental health) during which I yelled at the television and actually had tears streaming down my cheeks. Something's got to give over there though according to CNN it's not going to happen anytime soon. It makes me physically ill to think that we could stop this all right now and yet we're refusing to in order to buy Israel more time. Once again we stand alone against the rest of the international community. I hate this administration. I hate Rice. I hate Cheney. I hate G.W.B. I hate the House for signing that stupid resolution standing staunchly beside Israel. I hate the Democrats in Congress for condemning al-Malaki for saying the aggression against Lebanon should stop. I hate the Republicans in Congress for saying stupid things like this:

"Am I surprised that an Arab has voiced words of concern about Israel and has supported Hezbollah and Hamas?" asked Rep. Christopher Shays, R-Connecticut. "No, I'm not surprised. He's trying to build coalitions in his own country. I am outraged. But you know, welcome to democracy."

"Welcome to democracy", you hypocritical bastard?!? Democracy got Hezbollah elected to Lebanon's parliament. Democracy was responsible for Hamas coming into power. Guess what will never be a true democracy because the arrogant and imperialistic US of A had to go and impose democracy? IRAQ.

Post-news I was able to watch NOVA and it was all about string theory/M-theory. Dang me. It kind of blew my mind. If you're even a little interested in parallel universes or worm holes or quantum mechanics or atom smashers you should probably try and watch it. It was geekalicious. I was also able to temporary boost my sagging ego by playing some excellent pinball though it was really sweet to be reminded that it is far superior to win at a more intellectual game.

I like this poem:

Clouds Gathering
by Charles Simic

It seemed the kind of life we wanted.
Wild strawberries and cream in the morning.
Sunlight in every room.
The two of us walking by the sea naked.

Some evenings, however, we found ourselves
Unsure of what comes next.
Like tragic actors in a theater on fire,
With birds circling over our heads,
The dark pines strangely still,
Each rock we stepped on bloodied by the sunset.

We were back on our terrace sipping wine.
Why always this hint of an unhappy ending?
Clouds of almost human appearance
Gathering on the horizon, but the rest lovely
With the air so mild and the sea untroubled.

The night suddenly upon us, a starless night.
You lighting a candle, carrying it naked
Into our bedroom and blowing it out quickly.
The dark pines and grasses strangely still.

(From The Voice at 3:00 AM: Selected Late and New Poems)

but seriously, it's just a game!

What.the.hell.kind.of.plan.is.this?!?

You've got to be kidding me, right? There is no way Hezbollah or the rest of the Lebanese government is going to go for this (remember: Hezbollah is a private militia that holds seats in the democratically elected Parliment--hence the choice of the words rest of Lebanese government) as it's just the same thing the U.S. and Israel has been saying from the beginning: Hezbollah must disarm, return the kidnapped soldiers, and allow an international NATO-led peacekeeping force to police it. Hezbollah has repeatedly said it is not going to willingly disarm. And having NATO in charge is a horrible idea. First, it's entirely too U.S. identified. And NATO's going to have it's hands full soon as they are scheduled to take over military operations from the U.S. led coalition in Afghanistan at the end of the month (speaking of: didja see that hundreds of Taliban militants attacked a police station in the town of Bakwa?). AND no one's willing to send troops. AND no one--not the U.S. or Israel--has formally requested such a plan from NATO to begin with. AND will everyone stop saying "sustainable cease-fire." Say what you mean: in your minds sustainable cease-fire is the end of Hezbollah and Hamas. It's not really a cease-fire if the other side doesn't get to choose to stop using their weapons.

I have plenty to say about al-Maliki's little trip to the White House and Bush's promise to beef up security in Baghdad and not leave the Iraqi people high and dry (right. Because involving ourselves even further into what has dissolved into a civil war is in our best interests...how?), but I spent the last hour shelving (biographies: who it's about, who it's by, then title--how hard is that?!?) and now I'm on desk where I'm certain I'll be too busy to post anything significant. I'll leave you with yet another Scrabble-loss last night: His first word? 64 points. That I continued to play is a credit to my good nature and upbeat spirit.

You.
Are.
Going.
DOWN.
BERGHOEF.

One of these days when you least expect it, you'll finally feel the agony of defeat.

I will crush you.

See what a good loser I am?

it's nice to sit down and watch some good old fashioned family films

There was a cricket in my sink last night.
A cricket.

Happy Monday to everyone! I don't know about you, but I'm pleased as punch to be back at work. I'm refusing to be in a bad mood. I'm refusing to complain about being tired. I'm refusing to allow anyone's negativity to bring me down. So far, so good.

6 games of Scrabble and I'm still a loser. He's actively seeking someone else to play with as I'm clearly not much competition. In a fit of rage Friday night (I was pretty far ahead for over 50% of the game, but still managed to get beat by 65 points) I actually said "I can't believe you keep beating me because I'm definitely smarter than you!"

Guess how well that went over.

Saturday I Farmer's Market-ed which was really nice. I got some sweet organic arugula, a pound of sweet peas, a pound of green beans, some wee potatoes, peaches (yeah, it's too soon, but I couldn't help myself), and some teeny tiny carrots that are so cute I almost don't want to eat them. But that would be silly. As I was in need of more foodstuffs, I decided to go to the natural food store for the rest of my groceries. Dang. Organic eggs taste so good. As does organic cheese. And organic tomato sauce.

Saturday night post-birthday party and Beck watching (thank you Trav), we managed to move off the futon and into the Honda with the destination being Founders and some Greensky Bluegrass. It was crowded and I was having a rough time of it at first. Feeling as if one is always in the way does not really make for fun. Eagle-eyed Berghoef, however, saved the day by snagging 2 seats at the bar at the beginning of the show. I know I've expressed my love for the Greensky Bluegrass in the past but I think I'll do it again: I heart them. Muy muy muy heart. They play music that makes you feel happy and good. In an unexpected surprise many many people showed up too. First Craig and his girlfriend--a really nice couple that I'm selfishly excited to hear are moving to Holland. Next came Fatty who was kind enough to sit and listen to me go on and on about the injustices involving Scrabble and has convinced me to check out some Jim Harrison. Raleigh and his purty lady Lauren were next. And finally Andrew of Chicago whom I had not seen in many a day. Plus, I don't know if I've mentioned it or not, but Greensky Bluegrass was amazing.

Tonight: free tickets to the cabaret at Till Midnight (blast that stupid extra l!)

it's an invasion army!

I have always said that campaign finance reform would be an excellent step in the right direction to more inclusive and fair elections. Get rid of the special interests and the money. Even out the playing field. and let's get some real candidates--not shadowy and pale imitations of pathetic party politics.

Primary season is upon us. On a national level I'm really interested in the Lieberman race because he's threatening to run as an independent if he doesn't get the democratic nomination. My hypocrisy was showing Wednesday night when a conversation I was having with my sister was overheard by someone. I was urging her to vote in the primary (she's from Conn) for whomever Lieberman is running against as "Lieberman is barely a democrat and will most likely split the vote with the republican leaving the door wide open for the democratic nominee." Here I have been preaching the glory of including more than 2 parties in the process and yet I'm so quick to play the game.

This led to a conversation last night about primaries and what the hell is the point. Doesn't the primary process do a bangup job of excluding any possible 3rd parties? Why can't people-regardless of their party affiliation--just run? It was also pointed out to me that the inclusion of party affiliations on ballots is kind of stupid as well. Shouldn't people be voting for the best candidate regardless of what party they belong to? Doesn't having a straight party ticket ballot just encourage people to continue to be apathetic about their choices? Don't we just encourage lack of participation in the process by continuing to narrow our options? The inclusion of primaries pretty much guarantees voter fatigue--as if we don't have a hard enough time keeping their interest. And shouldn't Election Day be a national holiday? Shouldn't we remove all possible obstacles to what is the most important civil act a citizen can participate in?

Here's the rub:

We have an apathetic voting public to begin with. Now we're asking that they not only vote (the horror!), but that they research each individual candidate. Aren't we just asking for less people to vote if we take away their nice 2 options--their 2 categories? Democrat or Republican? Liberal or Conservative? People will have to actually think about the individual running not their party affiliation if you remove that from the ballot, let alone if you remove straight party options. As far as Election Day being a national holiday: would it actually encourage people to vote or would it turn into yet another national holiday surrounding copious amounts of alcohol and grilling slabs of meat?

Oh woe is me! I have yet another post where there are more questions than answers. What I do know for certain is that the 2-party system as it stands must change. Including more people into the process only fosters competition which is good for everyone--electorate and candidate. Campaign finance reform is necessary. Changes to the primary system would be helpful (does anyone really understand how that works anyway?!) and making election day a national holiday would probably be a good idea as well.

Alright, people.
Make it happen.

is this ever going to end?

I think it's really neat that Annan is calling for a cease fire. That's such a swell idea. There is, afterall, a humanitarian crisis brewing in southern Lebanon and maybe giving the U.N. or NGOs a chance to get in there and help out the civilians who are trapped is not a terrible idea. It's almost cute the way Annan thinks his word means anything given that the U.S. considers the U.N. a nonentity. I thought the days of cowboy diplomacy were over? Because it seems to me that once again we find ourselves alone in our opinion that Israel continue fighting indefinitely.

One of my other favorite new developments is that Condi "Iamacompletesellout" Rice "..plans to travel to the region, possibly as early as next week, State Department spokesman Sean McCormack told reporters on Thursday."

The wording of that statement is so perfect. It makes it sound as if early next week is so soon! It certainly doesn't make it sound as if we've been dragging our feet! Like we've been hoping Israel will just bomb the shit out of Hezbollah and disarm them before we could possibly step in with a diplomatic solution!

Diplomacy is so not sexy.
Bombing. Violence.
Now that's hot.

And finally, it's nice that the House getting along so well. It appears as if with an overwhelming majority they are set to pass a resolution staunchly supporting Israel and condemning their enemies. That's great. First, you spent a day of my money coming up with yet another nonbinding resolution that doesn't mean anything to anyone except to show support for yet another stupid thing G.W.B. is doing without international support.

Remember the last time you guys did that?

true love is when somebody kills a spider and tells you the dead spider landed on your toothbrush instead of keeping that information to themselves

I have decided the reason I continue to play Scrabble is that being defeated by Bergoef really fuels my constant need for self-loathing.

He beat me last night by almost 100 points.
That would be (in case anyone besides him is counting) 5 games in a row.

In an unbelievably disgusting display, G.W.B. vetoed the stem cell research bill passed by the Senate last night. We all knew he'd do this. He had to keep his freakity-freak conservative Christian base happy. What I found particularly distasteful:

"This bill would support the taking of innocent human life in the hope of finding medical benefits for others," Bush said Wednesday afternoon. "It crosses a moral boundary that our decent society needs to respect. So I vetoed it." (my emphasis)

Thank you for imposing your personal moral boundaries on a national issue. And that decent society of which you speak? Up to 70% support embryonic stem cell research.

and this:

Attending the White House event were a group of families with children who were born from "adopted" frozen embryos that had been left unused at fertility clinics.
"These boys and girls are not spare parts," he said of the children in the audience. "They remind us of what is lost when embryos are destroyed in the name of research. They remind us that we all begin our lives as a small collection of cells."

Way to manipulate the reality there, G.W.B. No one is talking about ceasing the practice of adopting frozen embryos. We're talking about the embryos that get destroyed. Instead of going to waste, they could be used for very valuable medical research that could potentially save millions of people. Plus, how much does it cost, exactly, to get your hands on one of these frozen embryos? Is this a common occurrence? Rich white couples passing off their viable frozen embryos to poor infertile couples? Just wondering.

I get it. He can't open this door or abortion comes at him with a vengeance and he completely loses the already disgruntled rightwingnuts.

I love it when political gain blocks the door to progress.

It only took 7 days, but G.W.B. finally came out in support of Israel and he gives the exact reason I knew he had to: terrorism. If we are leading the war against terror, then we'd better step up and lead the war. Okay. He didn't go that far. But he did say that the "root cause...is terrorism and terrorist attacks on a democratic country." You know I hate to be difficult, but technically--and I'm just talking technically here--wasn't Hezbollah democratically elected to Lebanon's parliament? Kinda like Hamas was technically democratically elected to lead the Palestinians? I get why we're less than thrilled with either of those prospects, but that's the way democracy works. The people who live in the countries get to pick who leads them not the people in the richwarmongering countries.

Did I just say that?

I rarely quote political commentary, but Lou Dobbs had an interesting piece on CNN today.
A big old quote to get your blood boiling:

"While the United States provides about $2.5 billion in military and economic aid to Israel each year, U.S. aid to Lebanon amounts to no more than $40 million. This despite the fact that the per capita GDP of Israel is among the highest in the world at $24,600, nearly four times as high as Lebanon's GDP per capita of $6,200.
Lebanon's lack of wealth is matched by the Palestinians -- three out of every four Palestinians live below the poverty line. Yet the vast majority of our giving in the region flows to Israel. This kind of geopolitical inconsistency and shortsightedness has contributed to the Arab-Israeli conflict that the Western world seems content to allow to perpetuate endlessly." (again, my emphasis)

What did I just say about richwarmongerers?

i wonder what it'd be like to not have a conscience

Temperature update in Erinland: 80 degrees and bearable.

I believe I had a bout of heat exhaustion yesterday. I was woozy and fuzzy. I use that as my excuse for why I wore a dress that made me look as if I was the crazy cat lady. That and it was laundry day (the most decadent thing I have done in awhile: I paid someone $1/lb to do my laundry). Thankfully I was rescued and whisked away to the airconditioned loitering-encouraged-heaven known as Denny's where I enjoyed my first cup of hot coffee in 3 days. Though I was appreciative beyond belief, I think dramatic temperature changes are not so good for me. Upon returning home I managed to rally for a few hours of Deadwood Season 2 (a beautiful, beautiful thing--Swearengen is a god) and a game of Scrabble (yes I lost again), but it wasn't long before lethargy and fuzziness returned. A drive to Saugatuck led us to that goodly place, the Bar of Sand, where the air was cool and the conversation good. Unfortunately I couldn't even pull it together for a win at pinball or erotic photohunt. A storm blew in forcing us to remain seated at the bar longer than anticipated. I went home and lost again.

I started out my afternoon a winner.
I ended my night a loser thrice over.

628 people were killed in Baghdad last week which is far higher than the media has been reporting. People aren't able to buy food or cook. They are selling off their furniture to buy AK-47s and ammunition. Vigilante justice is the rule of law these days. I know that watching Israel bomb the beejeezus out of Beruit is far more sexy, but let us not forget what the hell's going on in Iraq, please. We created that disaster. WE DID. We are directly responsible for the chaos that is ensuing and for what? The hope that we could create another ally in the middle east through our oh-so-good imperialistic ways? Our track record on that score doesn't seem to be going very well as Israel is currently baiting Syria and Iran. Iraq is our problem now. And if we're not willing to be part of the solution then let's get out. In Mahmudiyah, 50 people were killed by Sunni insurgents and according to survivors Iraqi and U.S. soldiers just sat back and did nothing. A car bombing in southern Iraq killed 53 people. I cannot believe the administration didn't see this coming. Sectarian violence was inevitable especially given there was no real plan--no real objective--for this invasion. The only reason "peace" existed was because of a dictator. Democracy is a near impossibility where there is such division. And once again we're attempting to impose democracy knowing full well it will fail.

And in more U.S.FAILS NEWS, the Taliban has captured 2 towns in southern Afghanistan. Remember Afghanistan? The country we chose to invade in retaliation for 9-11 despite the Taliban being no friend of Osama bin-Laden--the man who was responsible and has still not been brought to justice or even found for that matter?

I am sick to death of feeling shame for being an American citizen.

14000 civilians have been killed in Iraq since the beginning of 2006.
It's only July.

God Bless the U.S.A.

melting...

When I went to bed last night my thermometer read 89 degrees.
It was at 84 degrees when I awoke feeling less than rested and refreshed.

It's really not so bad if you sit quietly in front of a fan with a popsicle and a large glass of ice water. A kiddie pool was not purchased as one was located on the property. It may seem silly, but I'm still considering buying one of my own. I don't want to feel obligated to include people as technically said found kiddie pool is community property. To all who attempted to reach me this weekend regarding plans: I apologize. I was in deep hermit mode and not able to rise to the proper mindset to be social. Instead I played Scrabble (and yes, I got beat every time), drank margaritas, listened to some Flaming Lips, watched some Pee-Wee's Playhouse Season 1, read some Going Nucular: language, politics, and culture in confrontational times, played some more Scrabble, drank some beer, had a Chinese picnic on the lawn, probably got West Nile virus given the number of mosquito bites I acquired, ate a good burrito, watched Dave Chappelle's Block Party, read the rest of the Anastasia Krupnick series, got to go for a ride to Saugatuck in an airconditioned car, and watched Clerks. Life...life was good.

I not only didn't talk to but a handful of people, I also managed to completely avoid the news. Nice to see nothing's changed in the Middle East. Nice to see the country is still fixated on the fate of Barbaro. Nice to see Discovery not blow up on re-entry. Nice to see Bush is finally going to veto a bill and not only that he's vetoing a bill that 70% of Americans support. Nice to see Dick Devos put out another ad that says absolutely nothing.

Tonight maybe the beach. Or maybe I'll actually feel like being around other people and want to find a nice airconditioned watering hole.

The Speedway on Washington has gas prices listed at $3.15/gallon.
And that's for regular gas.

Yeesh.

Or maybe staying at home for some Scrabble and some redemption. Or maybe watching disc 1, season 2 of Deadwood in front of a fan.

it's gettin hot in here so take off all your clothes i am gettin so hot, i wanna take my clothes off

Whoa! Has the Middle East completely imploded or what?! Most recently I read that Israel confirmed the rockets shot into Haifa were "made in Iran." I wonder if Hezbollah will come out and say the rockets they're getting pounded with were made in the U.S.A. It's so bizarre to me that I am watching this all unfold online and on t.v. I know it's nothing new. It just makes the violence seem remote and Hollywood-esque therefore not terribly real. War has become antiseptic. We've taken the human element out of it. It used to be that men would fight on battlefields face to face. You had to see the enemy and kill them. Now we have unmanned aircraft flying around with strike capabilities. I don't think it's violence in entertainment that's desensitizing. The American military does a fine job of keeping the conscience clean.

Last night I watched a little Charlie Rose and almost had an apocalyptic fit. Khalizad (the U.S. Ambassador to Iraq) was on first. I felt like I was watching an infomercial. The man was actually saying that businesses were investing in Iraq. Money money money was pouring in. I honestly found myself wondering if now was the time to buy that vacation home in lovely downtown Baghdad. Is this the same man who a month ago wrote that memo (pdf) spelling out just how awful things had gotten? Is this the same man who recently claimed that security in Baghdad has deteriorated? I understand that man has one of the worst jobs on the face of the planet right now, but c'mon.

The Good Fight: Why Liberals--and Only Liberals--Can Win the War on Terror and Make America Great Again

I just wanted to write out that title. Beinart was on later in the show. That title makes me giggle every time I hear it. It's just so...so...silly. ONLY LIBERALS is so definitive. It sounds so...so...REPUBLICAN and COCKY and DUMB. The Post gave it a pretty glowing review-huge surprise-but I don't think I can do it.

I believe I am going to go out and purchase a kiddie pool tonight. And a table and chairs for the side yard. The kiddie pool sounds like an excellent idea for a poor white trash gal like myself who lacks airconditioning during a heat wave. The table and chairs on the side yard also sound like an intelligent move as it may allow for much needed uninterrupted alone time for 2 people who really just want to chill out, play some Scrabble, and talk to each other.

Doesn't that sound fun?

at least tomorrow is another day

Some things that have happened lately:

• Big hike in the Dunes Monday. BIG. Berghoef ran up a very steep hill and I watched in wonder and amazement. I also, in a most geekiest of geeky fashion, suggested we get into orienteering.
• Season 1 of Deadwood is finished. There are differing opinions on the last 2 episodes. Regardless, the agonizing wait for Season 2 to come in from the library has begun.
• The head of my bed now faces west.
• I have a table set up in the room formerly known as "The Reading Room." I currently only have 1 chair, but it is divine to sit at a table and eat like a grownup. I look forward to some Scrabble playing in the near future.
• I've been eating many cold things as the weather is oppressively humid. Sugar-free popsicles are good as are salads that include sunflower seeds and avocados.
• I got a flat tire. I just picked it up from the bike shop next door where I paid $11.35 for something I could learn to do myself for $5.00. I'm checking out a book on bike maintenance tonight. Despite it not being my usual bike shop I am happy to report that the bikeshopboys next door are just as attractive and personable as the bikeshopboys downtown.
• I've been playing some excellent Star Wars Pinball.
• I did a nice thing for a neighbor.
• Unexpectedly ran into some people last night and had fun conversations about high school English classes, Keno, del.icio.us and Web 2.0, mortgages...

I'm feeling really blah today. I had a rough start to my workday which I think may have something to do with it. There's alot that I should be fired up about ("It doesn't indicate a shift in policy," says a Pentagon lawyer. Except for the fact that it's a complete reversal of the previous policy the administration was employing.), but I just can't seem to muster any enthusiasm (The Homeland Security Department is a perfect example of government being crushed under the weight of the bureaucracy it created for itself. It's also a perfect example of America's ability to fool itself into thinking that just by creating a new department things will be safer.) or outrage (Hezbollah, Lebanon, Syria and Iran vs. Israel. That doesn't sound explosive or dangerous does it?) about any of it.

My brain feels empty.

giving some credit where credit is due

Let us give a Monday morning shout-out to the Honorable Representative from the 2nd Congressional District Peter Hoekstra for not only writing a strongly worded letter (pdf) to G.W.B. regarding his misgivings of the Hayden nomination, but for going on Fox News Sunday and accusing the administration of breaking the law by not fulling revealing to Congress intelligence activities. Hoekstra has long been a defender of the administration in regards to the NSA eavesdropping and the financial tracking which means there is something else out there that has got his knickers in a twist. I don't care if it's ego that made him publicly admonish G.W.B. I care that the head of the House Intelligence Committee (R) is jumping on the SCOTUS bandwagon by telling the president that terrorism is not a justifiable excuse for raping the Constitution. Too bad it took 6 years, a couple of wars, some civil liberties being trounced upon, not adhering to the Geneva Conventions...


Given my recent realization that I'm no longer willing to play nice with the party, this little piece from NOO Journal was interesting:

Are You a Reasonable Member of the Electorate?

I scored a 1.

Guess which one got me.

why a bunch of troops don't have anything to do with our freedom. or at least why it isn't that simple.

Ever since Vietnam, politicians from both sides of the political spectrum have been very careful not to demonize the armed forces. It's a difficult balancing act to play: opposing an unjust and illegal war during which countless of innocent people are killed without blaming those individuals who are physically responsible for dropping bombs or pulling the triggers.

I have always had a hard time grasping the culture of our military. I understand how it works: structure and chain of command are essential to a successful military. When a soldier is given an order he acts on it without question. This leaves civilians like myself with the impression mindless action is valued more highly than independent thought. Well, because it is. Imagine if everytime an order was given the soldier had a choice whether or not to carry it out. Chaos would ensue. The individual on the front line can not think about the moral and strategic consequences of a military action. They must simply carry it out. The justification behind this is that those higher up the chain of command have already considered/thought through all of the possible implications of the action. That is all fine and good but at the end of the day the people pulling triggers are human. Despite not being able to make decisions based on morality, the moral implications of their actions must be a heavy burden. It is essential to the continued success of our military that they feel as though the conflict or war they are involved in is an endeavor aimed at protecting the pillars of democracy our country was founded on.

I am grateful to individuals who chose to enter the armed forces (I could get into an entirely different discussion as to whether or not it's actually a choice--joining the military is still considered an excellent "way out" of poverty and a pathway to paying for higher education, but that's for another time.) They have chosen a life wherein they are responsible for protecting the rights and freedoms of Americans. They are willing to put themselves in danger to protect those rights.

Jennifer Granholm thanking the troops in Afghanistan and Iraq for protecting our freedoms was political lipservice. The continuing conflicts have little to do with protecting U.S. rights and more to do with expanding our influence globally in an area where we need control.

I'm certain that there are many who would most heartily disagree with me. There are those who would say by continuing to stay in Iraq we are ensuring a breeding ground for terrorists will not spring up (let's not mention that terrorists wouldn't be there in the first place if we hadn't illegally invaded that country, but again, that's for another time) thereby protecting our interests. We will never, ever be able to control Iraq. Ever. The situation continues to deteriorate the more power we turn over to the Iraqi government. We will eventually leave that country with yet another failed conflict under our expensive American belts. We opened Pandora's Box in Iraq and have unleashed a very strong potential for civil war. The beauty of it all is that bin Laden continues to pop-up to remind us all that he's still there. He has made it so easy for the administration to continue to justify our presence despite the majority of the violence being sectarian not insurgents.

The number one problem with our global war on terror is that it is not a winnable war. It's too vague and convoluted. With the major objective being to end tyranny, we are clearly not going to come out on top of this one. However, the words sound good for politicians. How can anyone be against ridding the world of tyranny? How can anyone be against ridding the world of evil? It's a no-brainer that forces otherwise intelligent people to say stupid things like thanks-to-the-troops-in-Iraq-and-Afghanistan-for-fighting-for-our-freedoms because no one wants to be against the troops. We need them to think despite the fact that they will not win and despite the fact they shouldn't be there in the first place that they are there for the lofty and non-debatable reason of protecting the rights and freedoms of Americans.

Our military depends on that.
And so do our politicians.

This is all ramble-y. I tried not to rely on rhetoric (unsuccessfully), but tried to sort it all out for myself. This is so tricky and complicated and tangled up in military culture, political pandering, and a voting public that for the most part doesn't bother to take the time to try and untangle the mess. It's easier to hear "we're there for our freedoms" than it is to hear "we're there for geopolitical maneuvering." It's also easier to call someone un-American for not supporting the troops than it is to try and figure out what's really going on.

It's a work in progress.

no wonder i was depressed about the 4th. i missed the point: it's about blowing things up!

It was so nice of North Korea to give us a 4th of July present! Just so everyone knows I'm capable of admitting when I'm wrong: I never thought they'd do it. They didn't have much to gain (though I'd bet that slap on the wrists is going to sting a bit more this time) and had quite a bit to lose (let's take bets on the U.N. imposing economic sanctions!). Though, quite honestly, why not test them? Kim Jong Il has been trying to get our attention forever and aside from some "we-don't-think-you-should-do-that talk" there have been no consequences. What I find particularly hilarious (can you believe I worked the word hilarious into a post about North Korea?) is that it's not as if he just has 15 year old canisters of chemical weapons--which is clearly enough to warrant invading someone's country--no, no! He has missiles and nuclear capabilities. Why should he be worried? We like to ensure a victory and North Korea looks a little too challenging for our tastes.

My Independence Day began with a few hours of watching Liberty! The American Revolution on PBS. I made it through the 4th episode where the Americans kicked some British ass at Saratoga and thus ensured France would come and save us. I love thinking about France declining to enter the charade of a conflict in Iraq and the U.S. Congress taking a hard line by changing the name of French Fries to Freedom Fries to show them who da man. I also love thinking about how we'd all be a part of the British Empire had France not come to our aid in 1777.

I spent the afternoon at the beach sans cellphone avec a young man who spent his time flying a kite and leaping in the waves ala a ten year old. It was so cute it was almost disgusting. I spent my time countering Liberty! with Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States which every good patriot ought to read to remind him that history is subjective. A meal was consumed. Matador was watched as was the local news (during which I heard the most enraging soundbite from Granholm regarding how lucky we should all feel given that servicemen and women were over in Iraq and Afghanistan fighting for our freedoms). I was able to go to bed early though the sound of Granholm's voice saying essentially the same thing G.W.B. said earlier in the day made sleeping a challenge.

I'm looking for some reading suggestions if anyone has any brilliant ideas. I have a ton o'stuff at home and nothing is tickling my fancy.

I'm open.

superman don't pay no child support

I am anxiously awaiting the outcome of the Mexican presidential elections. If Lopez Obrador (the candidate from the left) wins there could be a major shift in Mexico-U.S. policy. It would also mean that yet another Latin American country chooses a left-of-center president. Mexico would join the ranks of Brazil, Argentina, Venezuela, Bolivia, Peru and Chile--much to the chagrin of the current U.S. administration. I've always been a fan of Latin and South American politics mostly due to the culture being prone to socialist ideals and the U.S. helping out with that by supporting military dictators to topple democratically elected presidents. Ah, how I loved The Reagan Doctrine! It exemplified what America was really about: free elections, human rights, democracy...The other fascinating aspect of this election is that it's being hailed as an example of the maturing of democracy in Mexico. Would that be because it's been Americanized to the point where there was mud-slinging and name-calling? How mature!

Jimmy Carter, everyone's favorite past president, wrote an op-ed in the Times celebrating the 40th anniversary of the Freedom of Information Act while calling on the current administration to end it's practice of secrecy. One of the major reasons I'm interested in library and information science as a career is that I believe access to free, unbiased, and accurate information is a cornerstone of democracy. My favorite quote as of late is from Thomas Jefferson who said, "Information is the currency of democracy." With developing nations from South Africa to Jamaica to India and Mali opening up the flow of information not just on an executive level (which is what the FOIA does) but for all levels of government and some private companies as well, the U.S. is in danger of no longer being the shining example of democratic principles.

As the 4th of July is upon us I find myself more reflective than usual regarding what I believe and why. I have been a political junkie for almost 20 years (no. seriously. since 1984.) and have spent that time being a left-wing bleeding heart liberal Democrat. Though the Democratic Party has frequently let me down and has been consistently less willing to embrace liberal ideals I believe are at the core of democratic societies, I have always been too scared to vote 3rd party. My votes have been held hostage by my fear of the Republicans--I voted for Gore in 2000 even though he attempted to turn himself into a centrist because I was afraid of G.W.B. I voted for Kerry in 2004 because I was even more afraid of G.W.B. though I thought Kerry ran a deplorable campaign and was rightly attacked for lacking a coherent message. I have said it before and I will say it again: I love this country. I love the principles democracy is founded upon: freedom, liberty, and justice (Insert "America the Beautiful" as background music here). I believe that those principles are worth fiercely protecting and dying for. And this is why the current 2-party system breaks my heart. This is not a democracy. This is a perversion of a democracy. This is what happens when money can buy influence. This is what happens when your media is controlled by a few powerful rich men. This is what happens when apathy wins.

And yet: here I blog into the void. I sit in bars and talk to people about how to mobilize the 20-30 year olds. I write my senators and representatives because I believe it's my job as a citizen of this country to do so. I read books that challenge my beliefs and those that solidify them. I watch news and read newspapers in an attempt to grasp what is happening in the world. I think I do all of this because I believe that true democracy will eventually win. Democracy is stronger than money and more powerful than special interests. I know that alot of people find my beliefs "cute" or "naive." I guess if paying attention is cute and naive than so be it.

Yeesh.

So much for an uplifting Happy-Fourth-of-July post.